


Where The Shadows Are

by Skullszeyes



Series: Eating The Dead [12]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Adopted Children, Adopted Sibling Relationship, Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Betrayal, Bittersweet Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Claustrophobia, Coffee, Comfort, Crying, Dark, Don't Like Don't Read, Drugs, Drunken Flirting, Drunkenness, F/M, Fear, First Kiss, First Love, Friendship, Glitter, Jealousy, Kissing, Literal Sleeping Together, Loss of Control, Mild Blood, Mildly Dubious Consent, Non-Consensual Kissing, Out of Character, POV Third Person Limited, Possessive Behavior, Pseudo-Incest, Rebellious!Ben, Rebellious!Five, Rebellious!Klaus, Rebellious!Vanya, Recovered Memories, Repressed Memories, Sneaking Out, Swearing, Teen Romance, Teenage Rebellion, Time Travel, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking, Young Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2019-11-26 19:57:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18185054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skullszeyes/pseuds/Skullszeyes
Summary: Vanya didn't like the rules, didn't like the restriction, and she might've found something out that her father has been hiding from her, and she might like her discovery, but it'll also get her in trouble if she isn't careful.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This will probably be a few chapters, maybe 5-10. Idk. It's something I was thinking about one day and decided to try and write. :) So I hope you like it.
> 
> Comments and/or Kudo's are appreciative.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should at least warn some people that there might be some stuff in this story that some people won't be able to handle, and that's okay, you don't need to read it and can simply move on to something else. But there are things that are typical for a teenager to experience (or at least what I've experienced when I was sixteen years old and I used to party with my friends.)
> 
> TW: Noncon kissing with an OC. Underage drinking & drug use. Swearing. Drunk people fighting. Mild blood. Mild harassment from the opposite sex or adults. Implication of sex, etc,. 
> 
> I won't go into detail with anything that I find uncomfortable, but this is considered a slightly dark fic because of what's happening within the story itself, including the characters. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy.
> 
> Comments and/or Kudo's are appreciative.

“You have to take your pills,” her mother’s sweet voice reminded her each day on the same hour and second. Vanya took her pill and swallowed, smiling up at her parents, her mother, and her father. And each day, she felt the ache inside of her stretching and dampening, and her hate when she was younger, the memory barely splicing, began to fade.

The first came the self-loathing. The screaming inside her body, blunt fingernails digging at the skin, trying to free itself from within. The silence wrapped around her, clogging her ears, and making her teeth grind. She could never grow accustomed to the pain that stabbed at her like thorns upon a rose stem. 

Her fingers fidgeted in the emptiness of the house when her siblings footsteps grew quiet with each passing second. No longer could she hear their noise, nor her own that choked within her chest, and burned inside her throat. She wanted to scream out for them to return to her, to her father who ignored her, to her mother who couldn’t help her. 

It was the grief of loneliness that tugged the intrusive thoughts when she first caught sight of them leaving the house. Middle of the night, cold halls and soft whispers before they vanished past the threshold of the door. What were they doing? Where were they going? Can she go with them? Or was she not allowed like every other time when they shut her out?

A notebook helped, the end of the pencil pulling along the page in handwritten inquiries within the house and of her siblings. The only reprieve she could find to quiet her thoughts, to place them somewhere else instead of them fighting her with its persistence.

She’s buckling under the strain each passing day, and she no longer wants to fight it. No longer wants to express it upon page after empty page. She wants something more, something that could give her more than anyone in the house could ever give her. 

She’s hungry for the outside world where many things could happen. Her heart is beating at what she could find out there, away from the strict rules yanking her down and silencing her voice. 

Somewhere in this dark world, Vanya wasn’t going to let it stop her. She barely had any allies on her side, and even one couldn’t suffice anymore. She did what they did, allowed herself to step into another world, one that was far away from the others where nothing could touch her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They're all 16 btw.


	2. Free And Young

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five waits up for Vanya and his brothers, but they all must accept the consequences of their actions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I used to be this big alcoholic when I was younger, I'm not so much as an adult, so maybe I got all that out of my system as a teenager. Haha. But, I used to enjoy sneaking out of my house with my sister and partying with our friends, drinking alcohol, doing drugs, sometimes running from people or the cops. It's just...a messed up time. :/
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy. 
> 
> Comments and/or Kudo's are appreciative.

He’s confused the first time when it happens. Middle of the night and he acknowledges Diego and Klaus’s plan to sneak out. They ask him to come with them, but he isn’t feeling up to it tonight, so he shrugs them off and they head out, sneaking off down the hallway, but then he also notices Ben with Vanya, they’re quickly walking by, Vanya has her hair up, a bit of makeup on her face, Klaus’s glitter shimmers along her jawline, her cheeks, and her forehead, she’s wearing blue jeans, and a black coat.

He can barely process what he just seen, and when they return, he sneaks a glance and catches Ben and Klaus staggering down the hall with Vanya, Diego behind them, all four are all quietly laughing with glassy eyes and rumpled clothes. It’s not something he expected from all four of them, and certainly not Vanya.

It isn’t until Friday night when he leaves his room and he reaches out for her wrist in a flicker of light before she crawls through a window. She stops and glances back, her fingers curl and her eyes widen before growing soft.

“Five,” she whispers.

“Where are you going?” he asked.

Vanya glances out of the window before pulling her leg back as Five lets her wrist go. She’s dressed in one of Allison’s black see through tights, a floral dress that is an inch below her knees, and black boots, including a black jacket that looks like Diego’s. There’s something different about her in the dark of the vacant room they’re standing in. Even her eyes are lined with black liner, something Klaus or Allison must’ve helped her with, including her hair tied up into a bun at the back of her head. Her soft pale neck is free of any necklaces or markings, and he can’t help but know there might be something marring her skin later on tonight when she returns.

“Dad doesn’t let me do anything,” Vanya whispers, looking down at her fingers playing with the frayed end of Diego’s jacket. “I’m nothing to him,” she raised her head and looked him in the eyes when she said, “I’m not special. I can do anything I want. It’s not like anyone knows me right?”

And this is where she becomes spiteful, her words twisting as she shakes her head and lets out an exasperated sigh, dropping her hands to her sides. “Your names and faces are smeared all over the news, even in comic books and magazines. No one knows me, and no one cares. It gives me enough incentive to do what I want without that publicity.”

“And what of the others?” Five asked, watching her climb through the window and onto the metal staircase on the other side.

She shrugs, indifferently. “They don’t care, besides, they aren’t wearing those stupid masks.”

He reluctantly lets her go. His heart racing at her words, yet annoyed by the others bringing this temptation out of her. Vanya never tried something like this unless she was coaxed into it, and he was afraid that it might’ve been her idea to go with them.

Five stays up for several hours, waiting anxiously for their return, wondering what kind of shape they’ll be when they climb through the window. He only hopes their father doesn’t wander in the second they start making noise. Not like it seemed to waken him up before, nor their mother, or even Pogo.

It’s the slightest sound followed by the hushed laughter coming from down the hallway. Five rises from his bed, his pulse races as he teleports down the hall to the bedroom where Klaus is trying his hardest to open the window. Diego shoves him to the side as he lifts it himself.

“Hey, you’re awake,” Klaus said, a joint is stuck between his lips, one hand on the railing, the other holding Vanya up who was staggering with a hand over her mouth as she holds back her laughter.

“Where have you been?”

“Oliver’s,” Diego answers, climbing through, then he helps Vanya and her fingers find Five’s shoulder, her breath hot against his neck as Klaus climbs in next. “Get her something to drink,” Diego tells Five as he and Klaus try to unstick the window that jammed when they shoved it open.

Vanya chuckles, her makeup is slightly smeared, including Klaus’s glitter that’s mostly stuck to Diego’s sleeve. She isn’t in much control of her legs as he helps her down the hallway, whispering for her to shut up a few times as they head for the stairs. Her weight is mostly against him, and he never really felt her thin waist before until now.

“Y-You should come with us next time,” Vanya says, slumping down on a chair in the kitchen as Five pours her a glass of water from the faucet.

“Maybe I will,” Five decides, setting the glass in front of her. He grimaces at her drunken smile as she picks up the glass, her fingernails are cut and painted black like Klaus’s, but what relieves him is the lack of markings on her neck, there’s no sight of injury besides her messy bun.

“Stop looking at me,” she says, her smile widening as she hides fruitlessly behind her clear glass of water. She starts to giggle and it reminds him how she was when she was younger, more light filling her inside before their father’s abuse, before the loneliness suffocated her and she was forced to step outside at the dead of night.

Vanya downs the rest of the water and she rises, faltering with her movements before he helps her back upstairs and she whispers that she doesn’t want to sleep alone.

Five grits his teeth, and he leads her to his bedroom where he helps her on the bed and he quickly closes the door, wishing that their father installed locks before making his way back towards her. She’s already taking off Diego’s coat, dropping it on the floor, discarding her boots as well in a pile before rolling onto the other side and pulling at the blankets.

“Five,” she whimpers, her brows furrowed, “help me.”

He rolls his eyes and helps her with the blanket, and he stands on the side of the bed, staring down at her as she stares up at him.

“Are you going to get in?” she asked, an innocent question with no hint of her drunken voice, and it’s almost serious enough that he does consider getting in and when he does, she draws closer to him, his body stiffening at her sudden warmth as her arm covers his side and her leg intertwines with his.

Five carefully turns his head and looks at her in the dim room. And he tucks a strand of her brown hair behind her ear, listening to her softly breathe, but also disturbed by the stench. She obviously drank alcohol, the awful scent wafts from between her mouth, and there’s also something else, but he turns his body enough and pulls her against him, closing his eyes as he places his chin on top of her head.

Her shy demeanor, soft spoken, and stubborn heart is twisted and forming into something different, a blooming rose with prickling thorns. One as beautiful as the night, and somehow unattainable, even when she settles in his arms, sleep pulling them both under the waves of a vast ocean.

“Five…” He groans, his brows pinched together at the familiar faraway voice, “Five, wake up, you have to wake up before dad comes in here.” He’s nudged awake and Five snaps his eyes open as he stares up at Klaus who looks well rested from last night, his hair is combed back and his face no longer looks sweaty, even his clothes are pressed and cleaned.

“What did you say?” he asked, lying on his back, but he soon realizes the weight against his side and he glances back to see Vanya still asleep. “Shit,” he rises, body tensing as Klaus steps onto the other side to nudge her awake.

“Yeah, no shit,” Klaus chuckles, a grin tilting on the corner of his lips, “who would’ve known our little Vanya would be sleeping in here with you of all people.”

“It’s not like I asked for this to happen,” Five glares.

“Sure, whatever, we have to get her cleaned up and back in her own bed before daddy dearest starts asking questions, I mean, look what happened when Allison and Luther were found out,” Klaus said.

“It’s not like that,” Five retorted, annoyance scraping on the inside of his skull.

Klaus shakes his head and pulls Vanya into a sitting position. “Hey, Vanya, get up before dad sees how much of a mess you are.”

“He doesn’t care…” she murmurs, shaking her head and trying to pull out of Klaus’s hold.

“He will when he finds you covered in glitter,” Five counters, sliding off the bed and picking up her boots and coat.

Vanya breathes heavily and blinks her eyes open before letting Klaus help her off the bed and stagger out of the room. Before Five could follow them, he finds a small pack of Classic cigarette’s inside her pocket.

That’s where the other ugly scent was coming from. He opens it and finds half of an unused pack, including a white lighter with a full container. Plucking it out and instead of placing it back inside the pack of cigarette’s, he pockets it and dumps the cigarettes before heading off down the hallway after Klaus and Vanya.

He slows his pace when he hears the cutting voice of their father echoing along the wooden plain walls, and Diego stops him from getting any closer, shaking his head at him as he pulls him the other way.

“What’s going on?” Five asked, figuring out their father found out about Vanya’s night excursion, but the truth was a bit more difficult to understand.

“She stole money from him, that’s why he’s yelling at her,” Diego tells him, taking the jacket from Five.

“Why has she been leaving the house lately anyway?” Five asked, tucking his hands into his pockets. Recalling Diego’s answer from last night and feeling off about it.

Diego shrugged, glancing down the hall where the yelling continued. “Klaus and Ben brought her one night and she made friends. Probably likes them more than us.”

Five slowly nods before heading back to his bedroom, knowing he couldn’t really do anything for Vanya, but once he enters his room, he takes out the lighter as he sits down on the bed.

#7 is written on the front in black marker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been outlining this story, currently it's at 6 chapters. I'm hoping at least 10 chapters. :)
> 
> It will switch between Vanya and Five's POV's, oh, and they're all 16.
> 
> I hope you enjoy.
> 
> Comments and/or Kudo's are appreciative.


	3. I'd Rather Be Sleeping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanya goes out to party with Diego, Klaus, Ben, and Five again, and it doesn't end well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I'm really happy that you like this fic, it takes several hours just to write up a chapter. :/ I'm not as quick as most people, stuff like this, takes time. :) So, I greatly appreciate you enjoying this kind of story. 
> 
> This chapter also might be too much for some people.
> 
> Cruel Youth - Hatefuck (song I listened to while writing this chapter.)
> 
> I hope you enjoy.
> 
> Comments and/or Kudo's are appreciated. :D

_A week later —_

Vanya pulled on her jeans that were ripped several times at the knees and secured them around her hips with the silver button on the front. Reaching down, she picked up Diego’s leather jacket and slipped it through her arms over the thin white shirt, patting the pockets, before walking out of the room and entering Klaus’s next door to her room. He was leaned against the wall on his bed, rolling a few joints in wrinkled white paper, one sat between his lips as he glanced up at her, and he quirked a smile at her.

“Ready?” he asked.

“Somewhat,” she answered, noting Five and Ben sitting in the room on the floor, the both of them playing cards and glancing up at her. Five’s eyes stayed fixed on her a second too long before Ben got his attention again. “Is Diego coming with us?”

“Sure am,” he answered, appearing from behind her as he walked around to sit down beside Klaus. He arched his brows at Vanya’s long brown hair and waved at her, “Are you going to fix that?”

“Don’t shame me and my hair,” she said, glaring.

He shrugged. “I was just...the last time Oliver’s ex showed up, she pulled your hair. I’d rather not get between that again.”

Vanya frowned, touching the back of her head where she remembered a few strands were ripped out. The woman had thought there was something between her and Oliver when all she did was pass over a can of beer to him when she was standing beside a case on the table. It was ridiculous.

Klaus waved for her to come closer as he placed the joints on his desk beside his bed and pulled out an elastic. “I’ll fix it, but I figured Allison would’ve done it for you, unless she’s not coming.”

Vanya shook her head, turning around as he stood from the bed and gathered her hair. “She didn’t want to get yelled at by dad like I did.” She winced at the memory of her dad scolding her for stealing several bills, she was too hungover to focus on him, and Klaus had tensed up the entire time before they were both dismissed. Their mother helped her when she started throwing up, and later gave her tylenol to stave off the sickness.

Klaus stayed quiet for most of that day since he wasn’t faring that well either. Diego had taken a shower, and Five didn’t bother coming out of his room. Allison didn’t waste any time bothering her about it, making her feel slightly guilty that they were found out.

Tonight, she wasn’t going to make that mistake.

Vanya glanced down while Klaus secured the knot, and found Five once more staring at her. She couldn’t read his expression and barely when they were alone. He had control of who knew what he was thinking and when he didn’t want them to know. It was almost unfair, but since that night, and later on that morning, they didn’t talk about sleeping in the same bed together.

She had an issue with it later on when she slept in her own bed. Reaching out for that familiar warmth that she somehow grew accustomed too right away. He was soft in his pajamas and emitted a peanut butter scent when his arms pulled her against his chest.

The thought made her warm in the face, and she glanced away and turned when Klaus finished. He smiled at her, picking up a bottle of glitter and smearing it along her face.

“There we go, now you’re pretty.”

Rolling her eyes, “Thanks, you guys.”

“Whatever,” Diego said, getting off the bed, “let’s go, it’s almost twelve-thirty.”

Vanya nodded and she lead her brother’s from the room and down the hallway towards the vacant room they use to sneak out. It’s farther away from the other rooms, and it helps when they make noise and no one hears them. Not even Pogo noticed them leaving the house during the night. She knows for a certain their father knows about it, but he wasn’t bothered either when he yelled at her a week ago, he was only mad she stole money from him. Klaus had once tried stealing from him, but he was found out right away, and it was one rough several days for him. Something he wasn’t going to try again, it didn’t stop him from nudging Vanya to do it, and it wouldn’t be the last she’d steal from their father.

Diego pushed the window open and Five appeared on the other side, extending his hand out to Vanya who hesitated by his sudden appearance. She smirked and took his offered hand and climbed out of the window. Her black boots found the narrow metal stairwell as Klaus was next, followed by Ben, then Diego.

She climbed down the ladder and jumped into the dark alley below where it was covered in a matted layer of oiled water from a recent rainfall.

Diego stepped past her and lead them down the alley toward the street where several lights off the buildings and street lamps glinted off passing cars. It was colder than she thought it would be, and zipped up the rest of Diego’s leather jacket, tucking her hands into the pockets to find a bit of warmth.

“Where are we going?” Five asked, finally speaking and was walking beside Ben, both of them behind her and Klaus.

“Oliver’s,” Diego answered with a single glance over his shoulder, “he and his friend’s are going to be at this girl named Janine’s. I’ve been there once, and he told us to meet him there before one.”

Before one? Why did they leave at twelve-thirty?

“If only you can travel with more than yourself,” Ben said to Five.

“Dad says I’m not strong enough for that,” Five responded.

Klaus laughed, twisting around and walking backwards with a grin plastered on his face. “Oh, now you of all people are listening to dad? When did you change your mind?”

“Before the rest of you made _friends,_ I was wandering around on my own, the difference is that I didn’t need to sneak out in such an obvious way,” Five said, each word phrased with smug intent that made Klaus grimace and turn away from him.

Vanya tensed, she knew Five sometimes disappeared before bed time, and sometimes he returned home smelling of strong coffee and sometimes even the stench of alcohol. She always wondered what he did when he was alone, his abilities were more useful than the rest of them, even she who didn’t have powers and in turn had to improvise with the others.

Five never got caught for leaving the house, and he was a lot more independent with the reassurance that he was favored unlike the rest of them.

Once, she felt close to him because of his interest in her music. _The silence gets to me sometimes, and I wouldn’t mind listening to you for awhile._ She was confused at first when he had ignored her multiple times in the past, but this was more a secret between them, never told, and folded inward constantly and tucked within the pages of her notebooks, never opened and read by anyone but herself when she needed him.

Tonight, under the light polluted dark sky with barely a star twinkling above them, and darkness in the crevices of each street they walked along, she was far away from him and she will make her own choices, she’ll be more independent in herself then seeking the warmth of another.

Maybe that’s how she began to pretend, a reminder in herself that she doesn’t need her dad’s useless lessons when it didn’t benefit her in the least. This was where she was going to bloom, to find her voice, to seek the sound she hoped to feel in her beating heart.

At least she hoped.

Janine’s house was a two story building with peeling brown paint revealing white underneath, a mud covered front lawn that several people avoided. There were grooves from others slipping, and footprints covered the crooked concrete walkway to the staircase with a broken railing.

They walked by a few who were taking up the space, while Klaus headed for the side of the building, calling out Raphael’s name before melting into the shadows with Ben. Five and Diego headed into the house where the front door opened up to loud rock music, a couch filled with drunk girls and a few drunk guys, all of them with glassy eyes and a light sheen of sweat upon their faces, their makeup smeared with little care while they sipped on cans of beer, one girl held a clear bottle of Vodka that was half empty. Several others were smoking near the hallway, and most of the guys stood in the kitchen, snorting white powder off the round yellow stained table with a wobbly leg.

“This is where you wanted to be?” Five asked her, nudging her in the arm with his elbow.

She frowned, “Better than listening to dad’s rules.”

“I’d rather be sleeping, but whatever gets us through the night,” Five said, before moving through the crowd of people and into the kitchen.

“Hey, you’re Vanya, right?” she turned and faced a guy with short brown hair, a pale complexion in a simple blue shirt and jacket, he held a cigarette between his fingers as he smiled at her. “Oliver said you’d be here with your brothers, but I see they all left you.”

“I get that a lot,” she told him.

He introduced himself as Justin and offered her a beer. She cracked it open and drank it, the iron taste spilled out throughout her mouth and burned her throat. Shaking her head, she exhaled, trying her best to relax as Justin talked to her.

Around three in the morning, she lost count of how many beers she drank, and looked for her brothers, Justin laughing as he held her by the arm, making sure she didn’t fall. Diego was near the front door, flirting with a blonde haired girl in a tight dress, both looked as drunk as she felt. Klaus and Ben entered the house an hour ago, Klaus completely high while Ben kept him from falling over, but Ben wasn’t any better, he was also drinking from a brown Whiskey bottle. They were in the living room, sitting between two girls as they rolled another joint with a few pills next to an empty glass cup and a full ashtray.

The last she spotted Five, he was standing by the kitchen, ignoring this drunk girl trying to talk to him, she was smiling and laughing, but he seemed more preoccupied, and wasn’t drinking as much since they arrived at the house party.

“I have to get going soon,” she said once Justin had pulled her back, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her close. She smiled, too drunk as the room spinned around her, and she was getting nauseous.

“Don’t leave yet,” Justin pleaded, sweetly, turning his head and then he kissed her on the mouth. His arms tightened around her waist, keeping her from moving away, and she felt his tongue enter her mouth with the strong acrid taste of cigarettes and stale alcohol. “Come on, Vanya,” he whispered, laughing, and kissing her again even as she struggled to pull away.

_I’d rather be sleeping._

Vanya’s eyes burned and she gasped as she shoved Justin back, she hit the opposite wall before stumbling away from him. She could barely see through the dark colors blending into her vision, and her name was rung through the loud sounds around her. She almost fell down the steps, but someone had grabbed her, righting her, asking if she was okay, but she pulled away and stumbled from the yard, her heart racing too fast with fear coursing in her veins.

Somehow she was holding a bottle of Vodka when she slumped down on the edge of a sidewalk, gasping for air, and wiping her mouth. Twisting off the cap, she touched a warm tear rolling down her cheek and sucked in a breath.

“I’d rather be sleeping,” she whispered before taking a swig.


	4. Griddy's Doughnuts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five found Vanya and they go have coffee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so happy that you're enjoying this fic. :D I'm actually enjoying writing this story. Although, I'm not done the outline, I'm actually just haven't finished it at all, I just started outlining chapter 8. :/ 
> 
> Matthew Mole - Take Yours, and I'll Take mine. (Song I listened to while writing this chapter.)
> 
> I hope you enjoy.
> 
> Comments and/or Kudo's are appreciative.

Klaus placed a hand on Five’s shoulder, giving him a nod before Five headed for the doorway that was clear of people. Several outside were staring at him as he stepped down the stairs and headed for the street. 

Diego was having fun with a knife against Justin’s neck after what he did to Vanya. The moment she stumbled away and he called her name, Five didn’t hesitate, and neither did Diego who had caught her when she almost fell down the steps. Her distress had also made Klaus cross the room and punch Justin in the face, Ben was right behind him, and the entire room had gone still the second Diego took out a knife and threatened a few others who were about to step in. 

Five didn’t waste time with teleporting down the street before finding her sitting on the sidewalk. She was wiping away a trail of tears from her face before downing several gulps from a Vodka bottle. 

“It wasn’t my fault,” she said without looking up as he came to a stop a foot away from her. Her voice was groggy, words livid, she tossed the cap away from her and when she went to down the rest of the bottle, he reached out for her hand. 

“I’m not blaming you for anything,” he answered, strands of her long brown hair fell to the side as she turned her head to him, her eyes wet with tears, but her expression was seething. He didn’t expect that, but he also knew that she spent her life feeling inadequate, if it wasn’t for how she lived within the house, knowing them and her own feelings, she wouldn’t be able to control herself, but she did. In every second living within the academy, silenced from all, she had every control in herself to know who she is and where she stood. 

“Come on,” he offered his hand to her, “let’s go get some coffee.”

Vanya, to his surprise, didn’t hesitate to take his hand, nor when she left the open Vodka bottle sitting beside the curb with a fourth left inside. She asked about the others and he informed her that they’ll be fine. He wanted to make sure she was okay, and all she did was nod and kept her hand neatly intertwined with his.

He led her down the street, both of them falling into a comfortable silence before they found themselves standing at the edge of the sidewalk beside a bus sign. She still hadn’t let go of his hand, and he wasn’t looking forward to when she would. 

It was wholly significant to him about their silence, their closeness, the warmth of her hand in his. They were connected by more than the same household and wrathful man that demanded more from them than they could give. 

A man and woman appeared, both of them talking out loud with an almost sluggish tone of voices. They were tall and thin, almost like cartoon characters, both with short black hair, spiky ends, pale faces with deep shadows underneath brown and blue eyes, they were dressed in leather jackets, jeans, and two different colored grey shirts. The woman held a lit cigarette between her fingers, one hand tucked into her pockets. They were mostly conversing about a concert they recently went too, while the other was reciting poetry or musical lyrics.

To Five, it seemed somehow surreal to be standing on the edge of a sidewalk with a seething girl and two adults that stepped out from another world. It felt more like they were at the edges of the world after it was destroyed and they hoped to catch the bus to Heaven, but it seemed they were at the wrong bus stop when the man decided to speak to them. 

“Sorry, kids, you might want to find a payphone and call for your parents, there’s no busses running at this time.”

Vanya nodded, “Thanks,” she told them before asking for a cigarette, the woman passed her one and lit the end before Vanya dragged Five down the street. 

Five felt inside his pocket and found the smooth side of the lighter he had taken from Vanya a week ago. Keeping it to himself, he didn’t understand why he even had it, and once thought of placing it back into Vanya’s room when she was playing the violin during the evening in the lounge. It never happened and it stayed inside his pocket. 

There was on place Five had in mind on going, but he figured the bus would’ve at least been faster. Except that failed them as much as the house party had failed to entertain him, at least until Diego started throwing knives and threatening Justin. They’ll have to walk, not like it seemed to matter to Vanya who had gone silent, even her own hand was loose in his now, but he didn’t want to let go. 

It took almost thirty minutes to walk several blocks to the place he wanted to bring her too. And the sight of it seemed to brighten her face, her lips twitching before an entire smile rose.

“This is where you want to get coffee?” she asked, barely slurring her words. Being as drunk as she was, she only tripped twice on the way there, laughing three times, and then going back into her mind where he couldn’t reach her until now. 

“First time I ever drank coffee,” Five tells her, grinning as they walk across the parking lot to the open door. Griddy’s Doughnuts. It was a twenty-four seven donut shop with a pink to pale orange aesthetic. 

Five released her hand as she sat down in the booth in the far right corner while he went to order for them. The woman had long brown hair tied into a tight bun at the back of her head, she had a hat on her head, and wore a pink dress with a white apron. She glanced down at him, her drawn on brow arched before her gaze fell on Vanya before meeting his again.

“Juice?” she inquired with a knowing smile.

Five smiled in return at the question. “Two coffee’s, one black, the other with three sugars. And two donuts, honey glazed.” He took out a bill he had brought with him in case he needed to call a cab for his drunk siblings.

The woman nodded, both brows arching this time before writing the order down on a notepad. “Be right up,” she said, twisting around for two white cups, and the coffeemaker where she lifted it and poured the contents inside, passing the coffees to Five, at the same time, placing two individual donuts on a plate and telling him she’ll bring it to them. 

Five slipped off the stool and walked back over to Vanya. Her eyes were closed, brows pinched as her head was tilted to the side. She was wringing her fingers on the white clean table. 

“Hey,” he placed her coffee in front of her, “are you okay?”

Vanya nodded, picking up the cup and taking a quick sip. The waitress set down the plates with the donuts, smiling between them and walking away.

Vanya kept her fingers light around the white handle of her cup, her eyes in the black liquid, while her other hand on the side of her head as if trying to keep it up. She looked a mess. He would’ve called her an alcoholic, an addicted cigarette smoking girl about ready to try snorting crystal meth if it wasn’t for the smile that rose to her lips, her eyes lighting up as she met his before a laugh escaped her. 

“Don’t you think this is ridiculous?” she asked, sitting back, dropping her hands into her lap.

He didn’t really want to tell her what he thought was ridiculous. What was ridiculous to him was that he watched her for most of the night. Drinking can after can, losing her footing and laughing in the narrow hall inside the house party, a cigarette between her lips as she leaned most of her body against Justin’s who had an arm wrapped around her waist, the same he had felt a week ago when she was too drunk to walk down the stairs to the kitchen. What was ridiculous was the disgusting taste in his mouth each time he took a sip of the can, or poured himself a bit of Whiskey to erase the awful feelings overwhelming him. 

Or when a random girl spoke to him and all he could hear was the seduction in her high pitched voice before she grew malicious when she realized where his eyes were fixated on. 

_ “You want her?”  _ the girl had shaken her head, rolling her eyes, a hand placed on her hip while the other held a plastic cup of Vodka mixed with Sprite,  _ “Justin is quite the romantic, I’m not surprised she fell for him so quickly. They’re too drunk too care who’s watching anyways.” _

_ “Go away,”  _ he told her, annoyed. 

She chuckled.  _ “Come on, she doesn’t even care about you, she’s not looking at you, whatever you’re feeling, how about you show her what it means to be jealous.”  _

It was so easy for her to say it, but it also caught him off guard. Is that what it was? That ugly twisting in his gut when he watched her with Justin, and when his entire body froze when they kissed, and she shoved him, a look of shock on her face before moving through the crowd of people and almost falling down the steps. He called her name, but he stopped Justin from going after her when Diego saved her from breaking something on the concrete and mud at the bottom of the stairs. 

Everyone froze the second Five shoved Justin against the wall, and a knife pinned his shirt when Justin was about to attack him. Diego had taken charge right away, his eyes blazing a dark fire, even Klaus and Ben rose to the occasion. 

He didn’t want to tell her any of that.

“He kissed me,” Vanya broke eye contact, grimacing at the memory, “and I thought several times that I wanted too, but the moment it happened, it was wrong, everything about it was wrong. I didn’t want to be there anymore, I’d rather be…” she sighed, picking up her cup and seemed to decide that was all she wanted at the moment, was to drink her coffee and ignore the rest of what happened. 

Five smiled, relief settling in his body at her words, and he ignored the strong possessive feelings that twisted around his jealousy. He wanted to keep her, to drag her from Justin’s wandering hands, and to do worse when Justin kissed her.

“Hungry?” he asked, pushing the plate with the honey glazed donut toward her. 

Vanya smiled and picked up the donut and bit into it. They mostly talked and drank coffee, he bought her another until the sun began to peak into the horizon, fading out the dark sky. They left, hand in hand as Vanya’s slurred voice had faded after her third cup and her second donut, she had washed her face when she used the bathroom, fixing her hair, and most of Klaus’s glitter was gone besides leaving a bit on her temple and her jaw.

She swung their arms as they headed down the street, back to the academy. She was a lot more graceful than last night, more happier. 

“Thanks, Five,” she told him, and he found her in the sunlight, warm and bright, better than the dark and cold of the night with the taste of burning alcohol and raw cigarette ash. This was her, and he cherished her as much as he always has.

They climbed up the metal ladder and pushed open the window and climbed back into the house. The moment they quietly set the window down, Diego came sliding in from the hallway, hitting the doorpost, wide eyed as he looked between them. 

“Hey, I need both off your help,” he said, already heading off back down the hall.

They followed and found Diego waving at them at the end, and the sound of someone calling Diego’s name, including a loud thump against a ceramic bath. “Klaus and Ben are throwing up,” and then Diego gagged, hand covering his mouth as he squeezed his eyes shut before shaking his head, “I-I have to g-go, make sure they’re cleaned off, sober, and dressed before dad wakes up!” And then he was off down the hall.

Five stared, shocked, “You fucking idiots.”

“Take Klaus,” Vanya told Five before he could protest, she was already rushing down the hall to the next bathroom to find Ben. 

Five hesitated and took a step into the doorway of the bathroom where he found Klaus kneeling over the toilet, he gasped with a line of spit sticking from his lips to whatever he had thrown up, there was remnants of it on the front of his t-shirt, including a bit on his hand. He was shuddering and groaning, and then his body jerked and he started to throw up again, which almost made Five throw up too at the sound and sight of Klaus.

This was not how he wanted to spend his morning.


	5. Trusting You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanya is spiteful, and all she wants is to feel numb, but that also comes with a high price when all she should be feeling is everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey. Sorry I didn't update yesterday, depression hit me pretty hard. :/ I'll sometimes update how I'm feeling on my tumblr, link is in the bio. :)
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. 
> 
> Comments and/or Kudo's are appreciative.

Klaus’s knuckles were covered in white gauze to cover the blotched bruises marring his knuckles. Moving his fingers deterred him from rolling a joint during breakfast, and Vanya watched him scowl as Ben, who sat beside him, rolled his eyes and helped him with his issue.

She glanced at Diego and Five who sat on her left, the both of them were quiet as they should be during breakfast, but when she looked at them before glancing down at her plate. She knew the boys who came with her during the night were troubled with unexplainable powers. She was the only one who didn’t have anything to protect her with, and she was glad they didn’t condescend her that night when Justin’s cold mouth covered hers.

They all had careful hands, practiced, and skillful. Not so clumsy, cramped shoulders, and tired eyes. She knows the secrets within these walls, knows the people she lives with, and where she, herself, stands amongst them.

They’re seeped with false ideals ruined with malice, mixed with cruelty, hardened by lies. Even the watered callous memories could not save them for a future she did not expect to have. The rot will always be there, under the nails, in the pores, beneath the skin of eyelids, and between the crevices of etched bone in black ink, all of it lay under the surface for no one to find.

They stand with soft kisses upon their foreheads, keeping them compliant with a mother with golden hair, and a father with dead colored eyes.

She was not a fighter by choice, but she would do anything to carve her way out, and sometimes that had to do with the beautiful instrument she asked for. She placed it against her shoulder after breakfast, sucked in a sliver of breath and calmed every part of her, listening to the silence, knowing it would end.

She did not want to drown in the pain ringing in her ears, or the words settling inside her head where she couldn’t escape it, even in sleep. This was where she was meant to be, to save herself from the poison in the walls and the eyes of her siblings.

Vanya played the violin, listened to the music and felt it in her heart. The sound itself was precious, more exuberant, an escape that she could tether too and never let go.

Unfortunately, the door to the lounge opened and she went completely still, the music came to a halt at the sight of her father standing in the doorway. There was never ever a warmth on his face, a softness that could tell her the stories she hoped to weed out in case he had a heart somewhere inside of him. Maybe he didn’t, and even that attempt would be fruitless.

“Number Seven,” he barked, and her entire body stiffened, “don’t interrupt your brothers and sister during their lessons.” And then he was gone, the door slamming shut as his feet echoed on the other side before receding into more silence around her.

Vanya’s brows knitted, her heart beating, and she was almost profoundly confused while the echo still resonated inside her head, her father’s words pulling with each sound until it came to an end and she slumped her shoulders.

Was she truly that useless?

A dark barbed wire curled around her heart and lungs, and she knelt down, placing the bow and the violin on the floor before clutching her chest. Vanya squeezed her eyes closed, gasping for air, searching out affirmations to soothe her pain. It throbbed and fractured, before completely shattering into pieces.

Vanya struggled to hold back her tears, reaching out but finding nothing to hold onto, only an emptiness trembling inside her body, and she bit her lip before she could cry out as her hands covered her face that was wet with warm tears.

Later that night, Vanya no longer cared about what others thought about her. It was only tragic that she didn’t take up what was offered to her, and she wasn’t going to let it go to waste when she had time to do what she wanted.

She stood in the bathroom under the dim yellow light and stared down at her open bottled medication. She was given free reign of it when her father deemed her responsible. She dumped the pills into the toilet and flushed it, watching them disappear before throwing the bottles into the garbage and walking out.

To her surprise, Klaus was standing on the other side of the door, one hand on the post, leaning his body slightly with an arched brow. “Took you long enough.”

“I was brushing my teeth.”

Klaus tsked. “No need for lies, sis, I understand, sometimes we have to contemplate the bad things we’re about to do, but even that doesn’t need a second thought. Remember, guilt does nothing but keep us awake at night,” he offered his hand and she took it, “and everyone loves to sleep.”

Vanya hadn’t thought of why she wanted the corruption to spill out through her body when she first left the house. One foot outside, and the freedom was too enticing for her not to explore it. She was seduced by late nights under filtered stars and wide streets. The violence burning past dry lips and hazy eyes comes and goes and can be avoided. She never gave herself up to it, but it was enough for Vanya to enjoy the mysteries of girls with knives and boys toxic kisses.

There were times when she thought she would find some kind of prophecy written on the walls of a bathroom in a black sharpie. Except all she did find was handwritten names in beautiful scrawls, including phone numbers, gang signs, and curses.

Maybe even that aesthetic of the night could barely bloom forth on red lips and intoxicated laughter under flickering lights and shards of glass. She guessed even sinking herself into debauchery had to have limits, not like Klaus ever told her what those were when he plopped down on his bed, taking out a bag from within his pillow and set them down on his bed.

“Right now?” she asked, pulling her hair into a tight knot at the back of her head, a bit high up without any loose strands besides what framed her face. Apparently to Diego, she had innocent eyes, and Five bothered to call them tragic.

“Ever spent your time kissing the floor of a man who didn’t know anything about using clean water to mop his floor?” Klaus asked, opening one of the bags and placing down one of the pills to the side while opening another.

“No,” Vanya frowned, picking up her jean jacket she left in the room earlier, she searched the pockets and found a black lighter within, a white painted on number seven was on the front. She pulled the jacket on, glancing at Klaus who had another bag between his teeth. “I’m guessing you had some kind of experience with that.”

Klaus glanced up and smirked, taking the bag from his mouth. “You have no idea what I would do for the extent to feel nothing.”

Is this the price she would pay to feel nothing?

“We’re not snorting this shit,” Klaus said, passing her two different pills. “I’ll have my friend, Raphael, fix us something next time.”

Maybe all those cracks in her life led up to this point, and with it pulsing inside her chest, a thing she wanted to rip out and throw out into the street, Vanya took the pills and swallowed them.

It’s not like she could turn back now, anyway.

Vanya looked in the mirror at the fishnets, the long white graphic tee, and the doc martens Klaus told her to buy one time they wandered through a thrift store. Her father would glare at her if he saw her dressed like this, he would absolutely despise her. And it made her laugh at the thought of him hating her more than he already did.

Klaus took her hand and they began to dance inside the small room, his record player spinning as all she could see were his lights on the walls, the scribbled writing and pictures of different artwork plastered all over the place.

It was beautiful, so damn beautiful to feel nothing at all.

“We should get going before this wears off,” Klaus tells her, slipping out of the room to fetch Ben and Five who already agreed to come with them. Diego decided to stay home this time, he was a little sick from the last time they went out.

Vanya flicked the lighter as she walked down the hallway toward the vacant room. She shuddered as her fingers nudged underneath the window and she pushed up.

“Let me help,” Five said, coming up beside her and pushing against the window. Ben and Klaus also appeared through the door, Klaus closing it behind him as they crawled through.

Once they reached the ground, Klaus took her hand, and they started to dance in the middle of the street as they headed away from the academy. Spinning and circling Five and Ben, their laughter echoed around them, and nothing else mattered, nothing else existed but them.

She once read a poem, she couldn’t remember the exact words, but there was one line that stayed with her, left an impression upon her.

_We’ve killed parts of ourselves to survive._

And that sentiment was right, she would destroy herself to become something more, to feel more in the eyes of her father, to be understand in the eyes of her siblings, to have a more definite meaning than who she was besides being constantly _ordinary._

They came upon a vendor and Ben bought them fries since she and Klaus couldn’t stop laughing and dancing, and Five made sure they didn’t wander off. When he returned, they sat on a bench in a park, Vanya complaining that it was cold, but she decided to ignore it so she can eat some fries.

“Did you bring it?” Klaus asked, leaning against Ben.

“If you’d get off me, I’ll take it out.”

Klaus hummed and pulled away as Ben pulled out a small clear bottle of Vodka. Five gave them pointed looks, and Vanya knew exactly where Ben had taken it from.

“He’ll notice.”

“Let him,” Klaus said, unscrewing the cap, “right now, he doesn’t matter.”

One day, his mentality and mottos toward life was going to lead him down a road he didn’t want to go down, and maybe that was the point.

They passed it along the four of them, and Vanya watched Five take a swig before he gave it to her. His eyes met hers, and she felt this odd stirring feeling in her gut before taking the bottle from him. Her cheeks warmed, and she was almost confused by it, but she drank the alcohol, wincing at the awful taste burning her throat as she gave it back.

Maybe it was dangerous to dream of what she caught in a split of a single second between them. There was something there, a place she could nestle within and feel completely at ease, but without the sunlight, it seemed impossible to touch in the dark, even when she sat right beside him on the bench.

“Well, well, what do we have here!”

Vanya glanced back over her shoulder, and she stood right away when she caught the sight of five adults coming towards them. They looked young, maybe in their early to mid twenties, and from their glazed expressions and the individual bottles they were holding, they were drunk and covered in thick cigarette smoke that three were holding between their fingers.

“Shit, this is a bother,” Five remarked, standing beside her with his hands shoved in his pockets. Ben, holding the bottle, stepped behind Klaus who also looked apprehensive about the strangers.

“What do we do?” she asked, knowing if these adults were to do something, there were only two who could initially fight back, while the other two were defenseless.

“Stand with Klaus and Ben,” Five told her, “and when it comes down to it, run back home.”

Home. Safety.

A place of dark secrets that imprisoned them in a claustrophobic state of mind.

Vanya nodded reluctantly, trusting in the only person who understood her without fault, and said, “Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started writing this at 6:30am, and my brother was talking to me, and asking about my story cause he saw the title of it, and he asked what it meant, and I told him it was a metaphor. I even told him the ending, yes, I know the ending to this story, I just need to outline the bridging chapters. He seemed fascinated by it since I compared it to gritty movies about alcoholics or smoke addicted drug users, but about teenagers, kind of watered down, but it's fine to me. :D
> 
> Delete later - [If you see any errors, don't mind them, I didn't get a chance to edit yet. Maybe I'll do that later once my laptop charges.]
> 
> I hope you enjoy.
> 
> Comments and/or Kudo's are appreciative.


	6. Usurper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was only fun and games until it wasn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm happy that you all still enjoy this fic. There are days when I can't update, I'm trying to take care of a mental illness I've been dealing with for years. It does stop my motivation from writing, but I'll try to finish this fic, maybe even before April. :)
> 
> There is something I don't like about this chapter, but oh wells.
> 
> I hope you enjoy.
> 
> Comments and/or Kudo's are appreciative.

Fear was always the base of dreams. It was hard to rid, and easy to feed.

And maybe, if Five drank a little more, he wouldn’t feel his siblings fear so potent in the air. He tasted it upon the rain soaked grass and trees releasing dew all around them.

“Shouldn’t you be at home, little children,” the women cooed, her eyes glazed, and her feet barely knew where to step, she looked almost crooked to him, unsure the weight of the bottle in her left hand, or the cigarette in her right.

“Children?” Klaus scoffed, reaching for Vanya who was standing close to Ben. “We’re sixteen.”

Which was more an understatement when they were all born on the same date. Not that the adults needed to know that, nor did he think they cared since they drew closer in their staggering form, and seemed more like a pack of riled up dogs that needed a leash. It was bad enough they were off one.

“Might want to stand back,” Five called to them, hands tucked into his pockets, watching as each of them glanced at him, a few sneered, while another looked indifferent and took a swig of their bottle.

“How about you shut the fuck up,” a taller man with a goatee said, he stumbled to the side, grunting. “Little kids shouldn’t be wandering around this late at night, things can happen to them.”

“Well, isn't that disturbing,” Ben remarked.

“Five,” Vanya spoke, staring at him, her eyes wide and glassy but filled with concern.

He turned his attention to the adults, they were still spewing out filth from their alcohol covered lips. It’ll be easier, they were basically harmless compared to him. Not many watched TV, not many cared about those superhero kids making the news, and taking over the world with their extremities. It was only fair that they reveal it in different ways, burn it into their brains to see they shouldn’t be messing with something they particularly don’t understand.

Five moved, he was swift as he teleported within the group of people, startling the girl who slipped on the wet grass, while another backed away, wide eyed before calling out the others who hadn’t yet noticed. Five smiled at the girl and grabbed the bottle that had slipped from her fingers and disappeared again.

It’s like a dreamlike state, barely qualified for the waking world as he tosses the bottle into the air, and it smashes on the pathway several feet away from his siblings. The drunk adults are provoked by the sound, by the wasted liquid blotting the grey into a black ink.

Five chuckles as he turns to face them, tilting his head up in an almost cocky way, the same that Diego once said annoyed him, and had pissed off Luther on numerous occasions when Five got ahead.

He moved again, taking another bottle and almost losing his footing when the adult had grasped it tightly in his hand, yanking Five forward and the grass barely betrayed him when he disappeared again. Panting as he stands near his siblings, glancing at them, and making eye contact with Vanya.

Their father told him many times before when he first asked about time travel. That the concept itself needed years of discipline, but Five wasn’t the type to wait, he was impatient for the next lesson. He was better, better, better, than the rest of them. He could do it, but his father shook his head, scolded him for his reckless thoughts, advising him to think more thoroughly and to keep up with his spatial jumps.

Oh, how he felt more like a young god, playing with mortals. He was relentless, and they could barely keep up with someone on a higher level than them. He smiled with pride, felt it flow through him, a series of electrical jolts that pushed him. Sweat gleamed on his forehead, slicking his strands before he pushed them back, panting lightly, knocking one down, chuckling when another couldn’t catch him.

And then the flush of pain rang dry in his head when he was strucked hard in the cheek. A sudden reverberation hissing through gritted teeth as he slid onto the cold wet grass, groaning at the hot pain spiking from his face, surely bruises would form in the next hour, but he couldn’t think about that. He glanced up, the taller man with the goatee grinned, his fingers clenched into a tight fist.

“D-Don’t know what the fuck you are,” he said, words slurring slick upon his lips as he glared at his companions, the ones who weren’t on the ground drew closer.

Five panted, he moved again, this time it was more stilted, and odd feeling as he stumbled toward his siblings. Vanya caught him, and he tried to move again, with her in his arms, her fingers curling into the fabric of his coat, but nothing. They didn’t move, and he only groaned as he pressed his forehead against her shoulder, face close to her bare neck, his breath blowing upon cold sweat.

“You exhausted yourself,” Klaus stated, shaking his head. “Now what, asshole?”

“You could’ve ran,” he said, turning around, Vanya’s hand still clinging to him. “Ben…”

“I...I don’t know if I can do this,” Ben told them.

“We have to leave,” Vanya tugged on his arm, but Five didn’t move, they wouldn’t be able to get far with these adults and their long limbs, and now Five learned he can’t jump with someone. If only he can, he could easily get Vanya away from here, a danger she barely understood.

He cursed the alcohol, the harsh taste poisoning his senses, burning down his throat, and flowing throughout his body. Easing out the pain, the fears, and corroded his focus, including Ben’s. Now it seemed they weren’t young gods, but children hunted in a park with no way out, only darkness surrounded them, a growling mess of rotting creatures.

It happened so quick, Klaus is yanked forward, and Vanya stumbled back with a gasp, while Ben is also slammed to the ground. Five glares, seething beneath his skin, and he wants to blame his dad. It would make it so easy to blame him, but his words punctured his pride, and Five allowed him to take the blame of his carelessness.

“No!” Vanya screams the second Five feels the second impact, harsh in his ears, gasping between the layers of grass that caress his face.

“Not so lucky,” the drunk man slurs, pulling back his arm and slamming it into Five’s face. He struggled, gritting his teeth, and he tries to jump, to move, to do something that doesn’t make him feel as useless as he is while his brother’s are covered in blood.

One of the other men stands back, taking a swig before passing the drink to the woman sitting on the ground. She scowls, her face twisted into an ugly form as the sky begins to fall around them in a soft rain.

Ben screams, fumbling for the grass and pulling strands out harshly as he’s hit again and again. Klaus is shoving hands away from his face as his shirt is torn. And the guy, he walks past the mess with a casualness that scares Five, a simple strut of his movement as he draws closer to Vanya who steps away.

“Not going to help your friends?” the man taunts, yet his voice is in a drawl, indifferent. “Come here.”

“Get away from me!” Vanya glances to Five, but his vision blurs, and he hears another scream, and it slams into the air all around them, and there’s a sound of choking, a twisting snap as his words falter from a scream left dead as it thumps upon the ground. The man above him stills in his movements, and Five barely blinks when he sees a white light, barely there in his peripheral vision. “Get off him!”

The scream is loud, more than it was before, and Five isn’t sure if it’s because of what’s ringing in his ears, or the pain fluctuating throughout his body, but he moves, twisting around on the grass as the man is shoved hard off of him. His body rolls, twisting, a contortment of bone snapping and not even a scream left the man’s throat.

Five rises to his feet, his heart racing as he stares at Vanya, and her eyes are glowing, and her hands are shaking, and she’s glaring at the other two men who got up from beating Klaus and Ben. And it’s a difficult sight to see when she shows more rage than he has ever seen before, maybe it was always there, under the surface of her pain and silence.

Their dragged back, pulled hard onto the ground, grunting screams, but even their body breaks, her fingers moving, simple and knowing. Like the way she plays the violin, her concentration is there, completely alive. She turns to him, but she isn’t looking directly at him, but what’s behind him.

Five sprints past her to Klaus and Ben, helping them to their feet and they turn back to Vanya, and his father’s word flow in his head.

_Not special._

_Ordinary._

_Be quiet, Number Seven, your siblings are doing their lessons._

_Leave, Number Seven._

_There is absolutely nothing special about you, Number Seven!_

He was a man who deluded himself into thinking that. Truly. And seeing her now, her rage as tethered to sound, even the darkness was pushed away from her.

“Number Seven,” Five whispers, watching Vanya yank the girl off her feet, stopping her from fleeing, and the girl floats into the air, completely suspended fifteen feet off the ground and only growing in height.

“Is that really Vanya?” Klaus asked in disbelief, clutching onto Ben’s arm.

“Who else would it be?” Ben said, panting lightly and wiping off the blood from his nose.

Five flinched when the girl’s scream is cut off, and she’s thrown to the side, discarded like the others Vanya had taken apart in a wave of her hands, in the movements of her fingers, in the fear that dug deep into her small body, all of the edges within her aching with malice, a thrum for release, and she seeked it out without the permission of their father, or the consideration of her brothers who should’ve been the ones to protect her.

Defenseless, ordinary, Vanya.

Not so much now, is she, father?

The light fades from Vanya’s body, and she twists around, and her hair is wet, and her eyes wide as she sprints towards them. Five disregards Klaus and Ben’s initial hesitation, but he doesn’t move, and she slows down until she comes to a stop.

This is what it looks like when father forces someone down, and what stays within them over those long years is nothing more than an echo. One that grows from a scream that never drowns out, and when released from a metal cage, is more powerful, more starved, and...more dangerous.

Maybe father shouldn’t have made Vanya as the victim, or even the villain of her own story because of who the rest of them were.

From where he was standing, and from what he felt, he could only smile and laugh and appreciate Vanya, embracing her tightly in his arms.

Vanya’s tense body warmed against his, and he wanted to keep her tucked in his arms, away from the words of their father, from the lies they’ll inevitably have to confront, but for now, he wanted to stay like this for a bit longer.

_Your efforts have failed you, father, what you did to shove a child down into the dark backfired on you._

Some who die in the fire, usually walk out of it reborn.

Regal, refined, sharp as glass.  

Oh, father, all you did was create a usurper.


	7. Matches and Oil and Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanya learned a dire secret, and she'd rather make a different choice than the one he had chosen for her.

The softness of her heart pulled apart, almost shattering her weight from under her as Vanya released herself from Five’s embrace. Her heart, filled with chaos almost brought her to her knees, a spark in her veins barely forced the tears from her eyes, but she noted the hesitance on Klaus’s face when she reached to help him. 

He stared at her as if he didn’t know her, and she brushed away the sudden sharp pain, bringing his shaky arm around her neck, and she and Five helped him limp away from the park with Ben, away from all she had done to those people.

Her fingers had slowly curled and she was only able to focus on two emotions. Fear and rage.  _ He  _ had stepped too close with drunken eyes and oiled slick words, and he had brought his shadows to yank her brothers to the ground, to press and crack deformation upon their pale skin. He had thought he’d eventually burn her to the ground into wet ash, but she was more than that, and he had shown him exactly who she was by making him her first. 

Their terrified screams echoed inside her head, and she was afraid, and it burned her inside with the sounds of bone snapping and their bodies slamming into the ground, sliding along the grass. The fire cooled until her entire body became cold and her fingers were shaky and numb. She willed her strength to carry Klaus back to the academy, trying her hardest not to feel overwhelmed by the exhilaration.

She loved it. The power, the strength, the absolute taste of it. And there was something else, it was more potent the second it had fallen away and she turned to her brothers, the subtle realization clinging to the edge of her mind. Now she could confront it, to understand what it means. 

Their father lied about everything that had to do with her. He tried to ruin her with terror and lies, branding her with the words: Not special. Normal. Burden. 

She was trampled on for too long, but she knew that some things must stay in the shadows for awhile longer. She must feed that flame, to tend to it before she lets it engulf everything. 

When she and her brothers return to the academy. The light rain had grown in a matter of seconds, and they had soaked the floorboards as the bathroom light was flicked on, and Vanya pressed the door softly closed, before turning the lock. When she turned around, Klaus was slumped down against the tub, panting light as the blood on his lip was slightly dry, purple and blue bruises blotched his skin that reminded her of water coloring from the wet strands of his hair.

Ben was knelt down beside Klaus, he was shaking, teeth clenched and staring at the linoleum, his nose had stopped bleeding, but the trail was still there, making his top lip look swollen than the bottom. Bruises were beginning to bloom beneath his skin, and out of the three of her brothers, Ben didn’t look like he was holding on that much.

Five was still standing, he was leaned against the sink, looking in the mirror, turning his head to the side and inspecting the discoloration on his own face, giving a sneer at his rumpled appearance, his hands already trying to smooth the creases upon his shirt. He already washed away most of the blood from his split lip.

There was fault cutting her at its edges, but she knew that at the end of the night, and the end of their choice, she was the one who had ripped the people who had done it apart. Completely and utterly to the point she dragged their breath from their lungs and torn it from their lips. 

Looking at her brothers now, she was burned out of energy and excitement. She opened the cabinet, blocking Five from staring in the mirror, and his gaze instead fell on her. His eyes stayed fixed, and she guessed the question forming in his head. He was a lot more quick witted than the others, more understanding, and observant. He didn’t let anything overly distort his choices, nor the way he thinks. Maybe it was one of the aspects that seemed to matter to her when it came to him. 

He understood her, and he didn’t allow her to feel less, even if she were constantly reminded of the fact. Now the truth seemed to have been twisted by their father, and all the lies displayed before them. Which one would Five figure out by either herself or their father, would he ask him or her? 

She didn’t know anything. This power humming inside of her must’ve been dormant for a long time, sleeping in its fitful state until she had a reason to claim its purpose in the palm of her hands. 

It didn’t seem so poetic to cut her off every day of her life, to remind her of her uselessness compared to her siblings, and then choke her with it when he knew the defiance in her gritted teeth. 

Vanya dabbed a bit of the antiseptic on the cotton and knelt down in front of Klaus. His gaze was wary, but there was no poison on his tongue as she leaned forward and placed it against his lip. He winced, sucking in a breath, before succumbing to the treatment as she wiped away more blood. 

Ben smiled at Klaus. “What does it taste like?” he asked, indicating the blood and antiseptic. 

Klaus returned the grin and said, “Like self-destruction.”

Five is next to Ben, placing a gentle hand against his arm and turning him towards him. He leaned forward and began to work on the dried blood on Ben’s lip. Ben winced, a scowl makes its way onto his face, before his expression smoothes out and like Klaus, he lets Five clean him up. 

“Are you going to tell us what that was about?” Klaus finally asked when Vanya leaned back, her fingers hesitant on the bottle, and she can smell the cold rain mixing with the hard edge of the antiseptic, the taste of it more foul than the alcohol they had consumed earlier, including the iron coming from her brothers.

Not all poisons will kill, surely not from people she cares for. 

_ He _ had taken away more than she thought, caged her within a room of silence, and burned her out without realizing he left her in an ankle full of oil. She would burn, but not the way he hopes, not the way he wants from a girl meant to be a shell. She would take back her form, shape herself into something more than he could ever thought she’d be. 

Isn’t that what she deserved? 

Vanya met his eyes, including Ben’s and Five’s, and she gave them a reassuring smile. “Don’t tell dad what happened,” since he decided to do it first, to take it away from her, it was only right she’d take it back, “don’t say anything to anyone...until I figure things out.”

“He’ll find out,” Ben said, quick and hesitant, his gaze falling to the floor and his fingers wring in his lap. 

Vanya shook her head, throwing the cotton into the garbage and reaching for the box of bandages. They were various shapes, and she pulled out a small one, peeling off the plastic before turning to Klaus. “If you say nothing, then no one will find out. Trust me.” 

Like you trust him, she wanted to say with an urgency that pounded with each beat of her heart. 

There were things she had to do for herself, and now that the truth was between her fingertips, enough for her to grasp and yank towards her, the control itself would be easy enough to hide.

Klaus and Ben both nodded their agreement, and once they were cleaned up, she and Five helped them to their feet. Vanya unlocked and opened the door, the cool hallway sent goosebumps upon her bare arms and legs. She watched them walk back towards their rooms, soft as shadows with their footsteps upon the creaking floorboards. 

“I’m not sure about this,” Five said, and she turned and he was the last standing in the bathroom under the yellow light. 

Vanya smiled at his disheveled hair and walked over to him, reaching up and smoothing down the strands. When her eyes met his, her heart raced unexpectedly, a silent yearning tingling upon her mouth as her smile faded away, and her cheeks burned. 

“It’ll be fine,” she said after a second seeking the words somewhere in the clutter of her mind. There was a lot more she wanted to say, but rearranging the thoughts brought her back to what was more important. 

It was not her time to be selfish. 

Five lips turned up, and his brown eyes softened. Beautiful. “You should wash the glitter from your face, and change your clothes. I’ll see you in the morning.”

He walked by her and left the bathroom, leaving her heart racing. This was her daily survival, more so than the boy who breathed in one room and then another. Who made an entire silent room full with his presence, and soothed the scars her father gave her.

Maybe the alcohol was her escape, the late night freedom, but even that made her rise to her feet and rewind her path back to the sound of  _ his  _ voice. 

“I hope everything will be fine,” she told herself, leaving the bathroom and walking back to her bedroom where she’ll tear the clothes from her body and retrieve the ones that were given to her, a carefully arranged mask set against her skin. 

The next few days were normal as always, but this time, she wanted questions, not of those who were left broken on the news where their names were silenced by the newspapers being thrown into the garbage. Or even when the TV or radio itself were turned off. She’d rather not have reminders imprinting themselves on her mind. 

Instead, Vanya pressed herself against the corner of the hall where she heard the soft spoken voices of Alison and Luther. Both of them trying to hide from the sun, their secrets drenched in shadow, heard only by their giggled tones leaving their lips before even that went quiet. 

She waited and waited until Alison’s footsteps grew closer, and Luther was gone. An arm reached out and Alison gasped, her brows furrowing at the sight of Vanya who clutched her sleeve.

“Vanya,” she snapped, wrenching her arm out of her grasp, “what are you doing?”

A lot sang through her mind since that perilous night, but she’d rather ask another question, one that she’d figured would one day help her. 

There was a lot stacked against her. She deserved the truth as much as her father took it away from her, and this is maybe one of them, but she’d rather handle it delicately.

Not like her father had when he sparked the match, when he flicked the flame, and set her on fire, only to forget who she is inside.

Her choices will not be as damning as he had made them out to be. Her choices won’t leave the scar he had left upon her.

No, this was more than seeking the love of a callous man who burned out years ago, this was something more, and she’d rather not harm it like he did.

“Can I ask you about...relationship issues? Romantic ones?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm writing new fanfics in a few days, so I hope you'll enjoy that as well. :) 
> 
> And yeah, I still can't write romance, even if its fluff/vanilla, I'm trying though. :D
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter.
> 
> Comments and/or Kudo's are appreciative.


	8. In The Twilight Sun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five found his sister's drinking their father's wine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might write a story of Vanya and Alison in the future, mostly because I love sister relationships, and I have two sister's (one's older, the other is younger.) And I also have a Klaus story to write up next as well. 
> 
> I want to quickly finish this, because my interest in TUA is waning, and I have a lot more fanfic and original work to focus on, and I can't just let this sit and gather dust. LOL.
> 
> I hope you enjoy.
> 
> Comments and/or Kudo's are appreciative.

Five recounted the night when light exploded in the sky, vaporizing the drops of rain, and tearing out screams of ill-fitted shadows. They had gotten what they deserved, a threat that they hoped would end their night was turned to them instead. A twist of fate when they tried to scare a girl with too much hidden rage. 

He once asked himself why she was a part of them. Why she lived with them? And why their father had let her stay for as long as he did. 

Five didn’t think the questions would come in the form of his dormant sister who had entertained rebellion in the last few weeks. He asked Klaus and Diego when it all started, and why. And Vanya had begged them to let her follow behind, that she’ll stay quiet, and won’t speak a word. Around this time, Allison had also walked those same dark streets with them, until Vanya found the freedom in leaving her home and finding something more outside of the confining walls of the Academy. 

All the weight their father had placed upon her shoulders, unknown to why it was there, now had a meaning to its confusion. Five wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do it with it now that he knows. Not even Klaus and Ben know, they glance away from their father, and Klaus seems to be more high, less lucid at breakfast and lunch and dinner. 

Was this the price they had to pay for secrecy? And did their father pay a larger sum to keep his own secrets from Vanya, from them all, even their mother and Pogo. 

It was something he didn’t understand. Not yet. 

Five left his bedroom, it was too confining, too much questions piling up. He needed to ignore those thoughts, even if he desired to know more. He descended the staircase, walking along the hallway until he heard the familiar sounds of laughter coming from the lounge. 

He slowly opened the door and walked onto the balcony above the lounge. Looking down, he noticed Allison and Vanya sitting on the couches, both of them holding bottles of wine in their hands, while their glasses were filled with it on the coffee table. 

Was there ever a day when Five didn’t admire her smile? It left his heart racing, perplexity in each beat at the way he feels, all of it far off and concealed. 

Vanya laughed at something Allison had said. Both girls enjoying their time together, a connection, clinging to one another as Allison reached out to Vanya, took her hand and pulled her to her feet. 

“Wait,” Vanya said with a laugh in her voice as she and Allison set their bottles down on the table. They went about the room, dancing along with the record player sitting on the side. 

He had always tried to take care of her in a tender way, but maybe that was wrong, maybe the simple act of freedom is all she wanted. Of being cared for and laughing with a space that didn’t feel like a prison. 

Five was about to leave, and he made the inexcusable mistake by staying too long when Allison turned her head up and their eyes met. She stopped, and Vanya noticed, her brows raising, and they were both waving, calling his name. 

“Don’t tell me you’re going to tell dear old dad about our indiscretions,” Alison teased as Five stepped before them on the main floor. 

“Now why would I do that?” he asked.

“You are his favorite,” Vanya said. Her eyes are hazy from the wine, lips a stained red, and her cheeks are more flush than normal. 

He can’t help but tear his eyes away, afraid he’ll stare for too long, reach out and touch the strand of her brown hair. It seemed impossible that Alison was standing right beside him, watching him with a smile on her lips, as if she knew something he didn’t know. 

“What were you doing up there anyways?” Alison asked, nudging him, “why were you watching us?”

“Seeing if you were doing something you weren’t meant to do,” Five lied, watching as they both rolled their eyes. 

“Besides take wine he doesn’t drink,” Alison asked, walking over to the coffee table and picking the bottle up. “He won’t notice one bottle missing, I’m sure even Diego was fine when he took his Whiskey.”

“It was an expensive Whiskey.”

“He buys them every few months,” Vanya said, picking up her glass that was left on the table. “He’ll be fine with a few missing.” 

She was captured by the sweet embrace of alcohol. Was she going to leave again? Tonight, or maybe on the weekend. Sneaking through the window with their brothers and sister. Disappearing into the night, and what if one of those nights, she never bothered to return?

She was not hopeless, and she was not weak, not the type of prey the man in the park thought she was. Beneath soft skin, was thorns, the sharp edge of a knife, glass enough to cut arteries. And she did not stop herself from that prospect. She did not hold back her violence, because they wouldn’t have, so why should she?

Five tucked his hands into his pockets and sighed. “Father might come in here any time, and he’ll certainly embarrass the both of you, so how about you gather your things and head back upstairs before he does return from whatever errand he left for.” 

“Fine,” Alison said, grasping the other bottle and she and Vanya followed him out of the room after Five had turned off the record player. They danced and sang as they followed him up the staircase. Laughing and giggling like two normal girls disobeying a strict father. It seemed so normal to him, to them, and he was glad Vanya was able to smile with her sister. 

When they came to the hallway that led to their rooms, Five noticed Alison pulling Vanya close, her eyes on Five, but her words whispered in Vanya’s ear. Words that left Vanya smiling and flushing, her gaze falling to the floor.

“Alison, Vanya.” They stopped and glanced behind them to see their mother standing in the threshold to the hallway. She had her hands on her hips, her brows furrowed as she glanced at the wine bottles and at the two girls. “That is your father’s, you’re not meant to open it, you’re too young.” 

Alison and Vanya glanced at each other before passing the bottles to their mother. Apologizing as their mother left the hall.

Vanya sighed, “Some things never last.”

Alison shrugged, “I’m going to find Luther.” She nudged Vanya who stumbled a bit toward Five before Alison walked by them and strode down the hallway. 

“I didn’t get to say thanks,” she said, “about protecting me. I really appreciate it.” 

Five nodded, “I care about you, a lot. I don’t think I would want anyone to even touch you.” He shakes the thought of that one night when Justin had kissed her, when he held her and she was too drunk to know what was happening before it was too late. It all came down to one thing, that he and Vanya were both disgusted, and Five would’ve done worse if he had stayed. 

He met her eyes and gave her a smile as he said, “Sometimes I want to keep you all to myself.” Five glanced down, letting out a short laugh, “It’s ridiculous, I know. I’m not sure what I feel at times, but when it comes to you, it’s forced out of me, uncontrollable.”

Vanya placed a hand on his arm, it was soft and hesitate, as she cleared her throat. “I feel the same way. For a long time, but we’re just kids, and maybe in a few years when we’re both older, it’ll change into something else.”

“I don’t want things to change,” Five shook his head, “I think even if we live like this, in this house, I’d rather just stay with you.”

Was it so harrowing to feel more than what he thought he would after those words were said? It seemed like a dream. Impossible, but it was finally displayed between them in the sickly hot hallway of their home, the claustrophobic walls, and neon drenched nights with the sweet taste of wine on the tongue. 

Five didn’t want to be wasted, he wanted to feel the same feelings as she did when she left through the window. The freedom in the night, the cold on the skin, the way she was no longer caged anymore. 

He leaned forward, slow at first, careful enough to watch her expression that was filled with shock and realization, her body tensing before relaxing, she knew what he was going to do, and when he got his answer that it was okay. He began to close his eyes.

It no longer feel as distorted as it did, not his feeling that fizzled at the sight of her in the early mornings, or later on in the dark when she dressed in Klaus’s clothes, and smelled of aching cigarette smoke. 

He wanted to think of something nicer, beautiful, of that morning when he bought her coffee after coffee, a donut on her plate, and they talked and laughed with their hands intertwined. 

That was enough, he knew it was, it filled him up inside, and now he was going to feel it again. 

“Number Five,” a booming interrupted everything inside his head, washing away into ash, he stepped back and glanced to his side where his father now stood, his gaze was hard and angry, “Number Seven.”

No. This shouldn’t have happened. Not now.


	9. Shattered Glass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanya had asked for Alison's advice, but things take a turn when they're father returns home.

She was free to do what she wanted to do, but not everything lasts. The wine and the laughter with her sister made her realize how things can be different now that she no longer took her pills. And she was able to ask Alison about these unknown feelings inside of her. 

_ “Why would you want to know about that?” Alison asked, crossing her arms over her chest.  _

_ Vanya was nervous about asking the question, she knew she’d have to be delicate with the way she phrased her words. There was some things she didn’t want to outright come out and say.  _

_ “Because...I’ve hung out with Oliver, Raphael, Rebecca, and Janine, and it made me wonder how it would feel to be in that kind of relationship.” Was it enough for her to say this? The people she listed weren’t really her friends, nor would she ever consider them in the future.  _

_ Alison smiled broadly. “Two girls talking about relationships, almost makes it seem like a dream come true. All I have to say is that why wait when the one you like will be snatched away by anything less or even more than a pretty girl, or guy.” _

_ Vanya frowned, tilting her head, “What do you mean?” _

_ “I mean, in our life, Vanya, is that death is incredibly close to us and it takes many forms.” She chuckled. “I don’t think you’d want to waste the opportunity to make what you feel real enough to touch.” _

_ Vanya had blinked, knowing exactly what Alison was saying. If she wasted her chances, she’d regret it right away, and their lives can be severed in a blink of an eye.  _

_ “What would I say? And how would I be able to say it correctly without making a fool of myself.”  _

_ Alison wrapped an arm around Vanya’s shoulder and steered her down the hallway. “What does it matter if you make a fool of yourself? At least you convey what you wanted from your heart, and those feelings no longer get to fester. It’s easy to confess one’s feelings. Mostly by simply being yourself.” _

_ “Myself?” Vanya asked. Being herself got her into many dark places, and her mind had pulled her in one and the other. Either she stay home and play her violin in solitude, within her lonely mind where the walls caved in, or she wandered outside where there was no walls to restrict her, and she can dance along the streets in euphoria. “I don’t think he would care about...me.”  _

_ “Five may look like he doesn’t,” Alison said as they walked down the steps, “but he cares a lot behind his stoicism. Sooner or later, he’ll show it, and you’ll possibly be the only one who’ll see it.”  _

_ Vanya’s mouth parted as Alison pulled her arm away and opened the door to the lounge. Her sister waved her in and closed the doors behind them. She strode to the bar and took out their father’s wine bottles sitting in the back.  _

_ “How did you…?” _

_ “Everyone knows who I like,” Alison passed her one of the bottles, smiling at her sister, “and I’m not stupid to see who you like. Come on, let’s talk, we have a lot to understand about each other, and the ones we care about.” _

“Number Five,” their father said in his loud authoritative voice, completely disregarding Vanya who had lowered her head that was still swimming with wine, and most likely from what Five was about to do.

He was going to kiss me. 

Me. 

He was going to kiss...me?

Alison had untangled most of her own confusion and let her see what she should be looking at. That out of her all her self-loathing and her inferiority beyond the others, she had found someone to like, and that was Five. She liked Five. 

And he...liked her. 

_ “Try not to be shy when he comes out and says it.” _

_ “The rejection?” _

_ Alison laughed, throwing her head back and clutching her wine. “No.” Her eyes were already glassy, and her smile was beautiful, outgoing, and less severe than it usually was whenever Vanya ever unintentionally bothered her. “The confession.” _

_ Vanya was a little taken back by this. “Why would he confess?”  _

_ “Why wouldn’t he?” Alison asked. “And remember, Vanya, a confession can take any form. Either words like, ‘I think we should go out,’” Vanya wrinkled her nose, turning her eyes away from Alison, “lingering gazes, or even a kiss.”  _

It had taken her a long time to accept that, and when it was about to happen, when she noticed the signs coming together with his own brand of confession. That he liked her, and he wanted her all to himself, without anyone else touching her. He had leaned in close when she returned his feelings, but it was too late.

“Yes, father,” Five said, tense. He stood with a rigid posture, his gaze empty as he stared up at their father. 

Vanya was a little bothered by this. The odd similarities between them made her want to shrink away into a place that was dark, but she couldn’t move her legs, and it was too hard to breathe. 

“What are you doing? You’re supposed to be practicing your spatial jumps.”

“I am,” Five said, his brows furrowing, “and I will.”

Their father grunted, and his hardened eyes fell on Vanya. “Number Seven, why are you distracting Number Five?”

“I...I…” she breathed heavily, her throat constricted, and she blinked back tears. This always happened, something always pushed her away from her father, from everyone that looked at her. It made her feel sick and empty and wrong in their eyes as if they were more special than she was.

Except she knew the truth.

“She isn’t distracting me,” Five said. 

She stopped taking her pills awhile ago...and she killed those people in the park, she hurt them because they were going to hurt her brothers, they were going to hurt her. Did that mean the same thing as hurting her feelings? Like a physical pain, she was getting hit over and over and over again with the same tactic that left bruises no one can see. A scar no one will ever understand, and it marred her insides where her emotions stayed pressed to the bottom, and were unfurling to the surface when awakened. 

Vanya met her father’s eyes, and said, “Why did you hide it from me?” Her father’s brows furrowed, confused. And she couldn’t help it, she smiled, because it was swelling up, her rage, her loneliness that forced her to the ground, to her knees where she was meant to stay quiet and out of the way because she wasn’t  _ special. _

“You hid it from me,” Vanya said, a tear trickled down her cheek, and the hot still hallway began to creak around her, the wood straining as cracks formed along the windows in each room, and the houses shuddered. “You hid it from me, you lied to me, you made me feel inferior to everyone when I’m a lot stronger than them.” 

Reginald stands straight as realization seems to come quick in his eyes. “You know.”

It was fear that provoked her, that made her hurt those people in the park. The rain, the screams, her heart racing, but it was also rage, an unquenchable feeling within her chest that burned and grinded. 

It was a lie.

He had told her lies throughout the years. 

He made her feel smaller than she should.

He put her down until there was no a single word that could bring her back up.

Not if she didn’t self-destruct. If she didn’t taste that alcohol scorching her throat, and bringing her relief from all her turmoil.

If she didn’t have that, the music is what she would return too. The one thing that made her feel special. That made her rise from the pain, crawling and snapping her teeth as everything around her could no longer hold her in place.

He shook his head, the same old disappointment not even phased by her anger. “This only proves it, Number Seven, that you can’t control it.” He doesn’t try to plead, he doesn’t try to see her for who she is inside, and instead he says, “I was right in my decision to hide it from you.” 

Vanya focuses on her breath, on her clenched fists, on the glass shattering free from the window panes, and the wood splintering from the floor behind her. And in her rage, in the nights she could hold herself in the palm of freedom, every last shard struck her father in the chest until he hit the wall at the end, metal bending, crackling plaster and blood leaking from his lips as nothing filled his eyes. 

“Vanya,” Five stepped in front of her, he was tense as he was in their father’s presence, his eyes wide, he was also breathing hard, but instead of looking relieved of their oppressor’s death. He was afraid. It was clear on his face, a shock in his eyes at what she had done without a single thought. “Stop!”

That isn’t what she wanted to hear.

She shook her head. It filled her up inside. The pain. All of it, smoothing out into a relief she reveled in. 

_ “Try not to be shy when he comes out and says it? _

_ “The rejection?” _

_ Alison’s laughter rang in her ears. “No. The confession.” _

Vanya chuckled, another tear running down her face. She ended up with both, but instead, she was struck with pain, she was torn from what she wanted because of the fear in Five’s eyes after she had killed their father. And everything around her began to tear itself apart.

Five was frantic, breathing heavily, glancing around himself as if afraid, but then his eyes fell on her, and there was instant regret, a profound sadness as he stepped away from her, and broke pieces of her heart.

“I love you, Vanya.”


	10. Salvation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late updates on these last few chapters. I mostly get like that when I write stories, mostly because I want them to last (I do this when I read too), and I procrastinate on updating, and it's a ridiculous habit tbh. 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy.
> 
> Comments and/or Kudo's are appreciative.

Five abhorred the past, the present, the future. He had control over it, young in appearance with delusioned pride over the skills he was meant to master. This was his power, his ability, he should have every control over it, not it having control over him. And yet, it was his choice, he had backed away from Vanya and her glowing white eyes, from the horror and the despair that fell flat with resignation. She acknowledged his choice, and the house continued to tremble with her power, splintering the wood and the plaster, digging deep within the foundation of the home they lived in, even the screams of their siblings were drowned by the noise erupting from her rage. 

_ The world is ending and it’s all your fault.  _ His inner voice screamed at him. 

Unrelenting, damaged, and crawling their way through life as children born of power unlike others beyond the walls that surrounded them. Day after day, their father reminded them of their prestige, and yet it wasn’t enough. 

Five’s heart fluttered, and quickly the dust grew thick around them as more glass was torn from the frames, small cuts slicing his skin and ripping his clothes. He backed away, breathing hard, but he knew what to do, and he didn’t want to attempt it. 

_ Too young with your gnawing thoughts, where is the salvation that you grasped in your hand, will you let it suffocate you under the debris of her hatred?  _

No. Five warped away from her, and he was too late for them, for all of them that he stumbled from the front door of the academy. He fell backwards onto the ground as the entire building came down.  

Crumbling rock covered his home, his siblings, his life that drew color into the world, and breathed life in his. His mouth had gone dry, and the sirens all around him was silent in his ears, barely a ringing while shock and sorrow took over. 

_ Is this what you wanted out of it all, Vanya? To end up as nothing under the debris of your hatred?  _

Five rose to his feet while a group of bystanders watched on. And all Five could think about while clenching his fingers at his sides was that he couldn’t love her without loving destruction, but he knew she was more. He had seen it in the sunlight, and under the yellow lamp posts during the late night adventures. When she danced and sang and smiled with absolute joy. 

Maybe those nights were bathed in omens. Spreading out like a plague, and she had brought it down upon herself, along with everyone else. 

No. He wouldn't let that happen, he didn’t want that to happen. Not to her, not to Vanya. 

He didn’t let fear distract him, he didn’t want it too even though he barely understood it with the power he held in his body. Right now, he couldn’t bare it, and he brought his fists in front of him, closed his eyes, and pushed.

_ We don’t belong here. Take me back where everything was okay. The edge of your fall, bring me to that peak.  _

And Five pushed, and pushed, and he gasped when he felt it, the strange flux of energy surrounding him like a gust of wind in his body, cool along his skin and caressing his brown hair. He could almost laugh at the taste of it on his tongue, and he didn’t hesitate to reach for it, to bring that energy and make it his. 

Five took a step forward and his fingers reached out, and he grasped onto the soft fabric of a blue blazer, and Vanya turned around, and blinked at him, perplexed by his sudden appearance in the foyer of the academy.

“What is it?” she asked him. She was the same as she once was, but somehow different. 

Five’s words stalled on his tongue, the weight of what he had done was lead, and the giddiness flared inside his head. He had attempted it, the process of time travel as he stared at Vanya, and she was holding a bag in her hand. 

“What’s that?” he asked, not sure what else to say.

She looked down as he let go of her arm, and she opened the bag, taking out a jar and smiling as she showed him what it was. 

Glitter.

“Klaus ran out of glitter a few days ago, and he’s bothering everyone, so I thought about buying him a new jar. This one’s silver, and there were many variations. I was thinking maybe he can start a collection the next time we go out,” she said, marveling over the jar.

Five was a bit confused about the date and asked her, she told him without looking away from the jar. And he was once more shocked by what she had said. 

He time traveled weeks before Klaus and Diego brought her out of the house, before she met people on the street and tasted the burn of alcohol and cigarette’s. Before she was forcefully kissed by Justin, and later learned of what she was inside by the secret their father had hidden from her. 

She was once more oblivious. 

Vanya placed the jar back into the bag. 

She had seen more than she should’ve, and now she’s a clean slate, a new beginning, another path that he only knows about. He wouldn’t say it outloud, but he was afraid and elated. 

She leaned close, which set his heart racing again, but instead of what he thought she was going to do, she whispered to him, “Alison told me Klaus and Diego have friend’s...I think they’re names are Oliver, Janine, Raphael, and Rebecca. They go to parties, and I asked if I could go sometime, but they aren’t sure yet.”

Five nodded. Is this how it started? The new path to the destruction, to the end of her and their family? “I know about that…”

Vanya smiled, stepping back, “Klaus has a lot of pretty clothes, and I asked if I could have a white shirt, but he’s afraid dad might say something.” She shrugged, “I’m not afraid of what father will say.”

_ Is she worth keeping alive? _

Five bit back the harsh words, the ones that instilled a practical thought of what Vanya could do, and what she already did. She was brittle, a whisper close to tearing out throats if provoked. 

It wasn’t right for their father to hide her powers from her. To keep her in the dark for so long. When she learns the truth, and she will, she’ll destroy whatever she can in her vicinity, and she won’t think twice about the lives she’ll wipe out. And that should be enough for him to tell her, but even those words couldn’t escape him, and he hated himself for what their father deprived. 

He couldn’t let her have that same...escape as she once had. The happiness unfolding on her face during the late nights, the excitement without the walls and the isolation they were forced to grow up in. 

It wasn’t right.

And yet…

“How are with the violin?” he asked her. “Are you still practicing?”

She arched her brows, curious. “I’m...okay. I haven’t played in awhile, sometimes I think maybe it isn’t right for me. For once, I want to feel…” She couldn’t finish the words, her smile faded, and she seemed far away for only a moment before meeting his eyes and smiling once more. “Do you want to listen?”

Five nodded, “Okay.” 

He would, for however long he could to keep her from knowing the truth. When they were heading for the lounge. Their father appeared from the staircase, and Five winced at the sight, recalling his dead body slumped against the wall with glass and wood puncturing deep into his body. Now he stepped down the stairs with a heavy expression as he glanced between Five and Vanya. 

“Did you take your pills, Number Seven?” he asked, his voice always harsh, and leaving Vanya tense as a frightened rabbit.

“Mother...gives me my pill every morning,” she told him, “and before bed.” 

“Good, keep taking them,” their father said, and when his eyes passed across Five, there was something strange upon his inspection of him, a knowing look, before he left the hall and disappeared from sight.

Vanya was opening the lounge door as they both entered, and when Five closed the door. Vanya reached for her violin case, her hands delicate as she unclasped it and took it out. She stared at it with a look of salvation, a reason for her existence. She lingered upon it before stepping away from the sofa’s where Five sat down.

“Sometimes I think I don’t want to take them,” she told him, placing the violin on her shoulder, “there are days...when I’m afraid of what would happen if I don’t.”

Her fear was broken by freedom, one that tasted of rain slick streets and coffee at midnight. 

One day, those memories and persistent thoughts will fray, and she’ll find out who she is without their father’s terrible manipulation. Until then, Five was determined to figure out their future together, and the powers they both possess. Either if they were dangerous, or if they pulled each other away, he would find his way back to her in any timeline. 

“Ready?” she asked him. 

Five nodded, watching as she placed her bow lightly against her violin, her eyes closing and he knew from her concentration and lack of truth, it was where the shadows are, kept locked in the alcove of her mind that would one day be set free, and with a strong resentment towards Sir Reginald Hargreeves because now he knew, and they would do better than before, and Five whispered, “Ready.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know some people might not like this ending, but when I wrote up the outline, it's what I wanted to write. This was how it was going to be. I got the idea from when Five said that Vanya would always be the cause of the end of the world, so even though he went back in time, she'll walk another path to that same conclusion. LOL. It's actually kind of funny that's how it's going to be, unless they figure out a loophole! xD
> 
> I hope you enjoyed, and this will actually be my last TUA fic until s2. Who knows, I might randomly write something, but it might not be a part of this collection. The last was Klaus's story with Dave. (This collection was meant to be for Klaus, but oh wells...)
> 
> Comments and/or Kudo's are appreciative.


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